Closer to a year.

It is hard! The days that it is closer to a year… how the hell are we here! It still doesn’t seem real yet painfully it is too real. Again I am haunted with time of death wake ups these days… they say my mind is trying to process but how do you process this? How has a year almost have passed and you aren’t in it and it still doesn’t feel real. I keep wishing it was a bad dream or that we can trade out people…I just don’t understand… the WHY you???

Why can’t things be better? Why can’t justice prevail? Why can’t others have consequences??? Why do others get to live and torture people with toxic behaviors and never reap what they have sowed….. why did someone run you over and leave you for dead and they get to walk this earth and we suffer that loss knowing they took you from us??? It just is so much and how are we at almost the year mark??? I miss you so much and I know you are on the better side of this and I pray you can lend me some peace…. Your son deserves the best of me and I am really trying to be that, some days are just hard…. We miss you.